It is obvious that I am condemned to make Terry Rozier highlights until the end of time. I don’t know which higher power cursed me with this unendingly tedious and unendingly unending task, but whatever that higher power is, I want to send them a very clear message: treating my mortal body as nothing more than a human vessel whose fine motor skills are used to only generate Terry Rozier highlight videos and nothing else is NOT COOL. Not cool AT ALL.
However, if I am going to be doomed to this eternal task for which there is no reward, I would like the videos to be like this one: an adequate amount of jumpers and a totally inadequate amount of assists. Rozier shouldn’t ever be getting assists (that’s Graham’s job right now), so whenever he does manage to accumulate a worthy amount of assists, my blood boils to the point where it turns into vapor and dissipates out my eye sockets. Due to Rozier’s tragically absent passing in this game, my blood has thankfully remained in my veins where it should be.
I wonder what would happen if I refused this infernal task and placed Rozier on my OFFICIAL EXCLUSION LIST. Would I get immediately struck down by some act of God? Would being struck down be preferable to being burdened by endless Terry Rozier highlight videos for which there is no audience? I’m kinda curious. Maybe I want to find out.