The Cavaliers’ aptly-named “Young Inefficient Tunnel-Vision Midget Chuck Bros” tandem actually had a pretty good game tonight! Collin Sexton put up 30 (along with a whopping 2 assists, which is a large amount considering that when he has the ball he is literally incapable of seeing anything other than the rim), and Garland had 20…
Read MoreMonth: January 2020
Omari Spellman Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2020)
I’ve taken to calling Omari Spellman “Spelldude” since he just looks like the kind of dude who would be pleased if you called him “dude”. In general, I feel like big, round guys are “dude” types, and Spellman is as big and round as they come. Also, I think there’s a pokemon with the word…
Read MoreDillon Brooks 22 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/4/2020)
Darn it! I thought for sure that Dillon Brooks would be leading the ‘Zlies in total field goals attempted, but when I went to check, he’s in second place. He’s attempted 460, while Jaren Jackson Jr. (total chucker by the way) has taken 470. There goes my whole narrative. I had a whole narrative of…
Read MoreJaren Jackson Jr. 24 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/4/2020)
OFFICIAL DTB POLICY UPDATE: I am now using the “Jr.” part of Jaren Jackson Jr.’s name in the titles of videos depicting Jaren Jackson Jr. I don’t know why I wasn’t before, because unlike a lot of dudes with a “Jr.” added on their name, Jackson’s actually adds pertinent information. His dad, Jaren Jackson, played…
Read MoreTerrence Ross 24 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2020)
I don’t know if I could tell you what my “perfect” or “dream” highlight video would be, but this video is approaching it. Terrence Ross does nothing in this video but hit jumpers or get fouled while attempting jumpers. In total, he hits seven, count ’em, SEVEN pull-up midrange jimbos. I’m getting shades of that…
Read MoreJa Morant 22 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (1/4/2020)
Yes. Keep it up Ja. As long as you keep having these twenty-point games with large amounts of assists, eventually the media will have to acknowledge that you are the undisputed ROTY of the Year no matter what Zion Williamson does when he comes back to the court. Catching sick lobs can only further solidify…
Read MoreDevonte’ Graham 27 Points/13 Assists Full Highlights (1/4/2020)
While I was editing this video, I suddenly experienced some kind of hallucination or vision. I can only assume that my body went limp and unresponsive during this episode. What I saw when visiting that visionscape has profoundly changed my life. I was floating in the sky, surrounded by a circle of Romanesque pillars. There…
Read MoreTerry Rozier 29 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/4/2020)
OFFICIAL DTB CONFESSION: I was maybe a little bit wrong about Terry Rozier going into this season. I never thought he would put up stats the way he’s currently putting up stats. I thought he would put up 16/3/3 on 37% shooting while leading the Hornets to twenty wins. I did not think he would…
Read MoreDomantas Sabonis 25 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2020)
So the Pacers just lost to the Hawks, which, in a single moment, has reduced their status from “fringe contender” to “just another East playoff team”, but out of all the people you could blame for the loss, Domantas Sabonis is not one of them. Instead, you should pin the loss on one of the…
Read MoreTroy Brown 25 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2020)
Since Troy Brown is a wing player who can’t shoot threes very well at all, but has an acceptable midrange game, it shouldn’t take much of your brainpower to figure out what low-effort comparison I’m about to make between this guy and an all-time great. That’s right. Dwyane Wade. How far off-base am I? I’ve…
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