Question: who even needs Puka Dumbbitch and Kristupids Coronavirus when you have one of the best assemblages of role-player talent in the entire league?
Answer: not the Dallas Mavericks.
Jalen Brunson can replace the production of Dumbbitch, no problem. Points, assists, it doesn’t matter. We saw it in this game. And Coronavirus? Maxi Kleber can step in and gave Dallas most of the points without the chucking and all of the defense without the willowiness.
The trade deadline is coming up, and I bet there are still some dumb-ass GMs out there who would be willing to give up assets for Dumbbitch and Coronavirus. The Mavericks could get a whole big haul of EVEN MORE role players to stuff their roster with, guaranteeing themselves a championship because what team can compete with a team filled 1 through 15 with primo talent? Supposedly rotations get tighter in the playoffs but the Mavericks could make them looser, punishing teams with tired stars with their inexhaustible supply of fresh bodies.
Note to YouTube: I used the word “coronavirus” a bunch of times in this description just so that this video would come up when people search for that term. Do not disappoint me. I’m expecting millions of views on this vid from people who are panicking about the imminent downfall of civilization at the hands of a novel respiratory disease.