Man. Kristaps Porzingis AKA Kristupid Porzingina could not hold Domantas Sabonis AKA The Saboner at all. KP was getting rammed by The Saboner basically every trip up the court and there was nothing he could to prevent getting bodied out of the way. Sabonis’ big meaty Saboner was so unstoppable that he didn’t even really have to jump for any of these layups, he just powered them through the weak spindle-arms and wimpy un-pectoraled chest of KP.
Watching this dominant performance unfold in front of my eyes affirmed my conviction that Lithuania is undoubtedly the superior country to Latvia. And this superiority is not limited to basketball: Lithuanian women are objectively prettier, Lithuanian men are objectively handsomer, Lithuanian scholars are objectively smarter, and Lithuanian highlight makers are objectively more beloved (take that LamarMatic!). It might seem like I’m pandering to my audience of Lithuanians right now but I promise I’m not. These are all things that I really think, and I would think them just as much if I was making a Davis Bertans video and had to pander to Latvians instead.
Here is as good a place to remind everybody that Sabonis has officially been chosen as an All-Star, which means that his continued representation on my channel will come to an abrupt end over the All-Star break. If a world without DTB-made Sabonis highlight videos sounds unbearable to you, there is one way to avert this sad fate: every citizen of Lithuania needs to donate at least one (1) dollar to my Patreon. If the people of Lithuania step up here, I will keep Sabonis around at least until the end of the season.
Donations should be in American dollars only, please. I have no idea how much Lithuanian dollars are worth.