Tim Hardaway Jr. had five assists in this game. That is, nominally, a total of assists sufficient to force me to include them in this highlight video. But here’s the thing: tonight is shaping up to be an especially brutal night when it comes to role-players having large amounts of assists. My near future and also my far future are going to be taken up by gathering and editing clips of assists even though I would much rather be gathering and editing clips of players scoring buckets.
And don’t come at me with “assists are just buckets scored by another person” BS. I am not in the mood to hear it right now. Miss me with that BS. Just. Frickin. Miss me with it.
So, in light of all that, I have decided to flex a little bit and not show THJ’s assists. Since this is my channel, I get to make the rules, and I also get to selectively break the rules when I get frustrated with the rules that I foolishly established for myself. If that fact makes you buttangry, maybe you should get some salve for your angered butt. All of THJ’s assists were to Porzingis anyway. Anybody with a brain can successfully pass the ball to Porzingis because he’s so tall, and you know that with Doncic out, Porzingis will shoot the ball as soon as he touches it, so it’s like free assists for anybody who wants them.
And if you’re still buttangry after my rationale has been laid out for your scrutiny, then your enthusiasm for assists is worrying to me and I recommend you speak with a therapist.