Note how, in the thumbnail of this video, Taj Gibson’s head is glowing bluish green in spots. A casual observer might simply think that some kind of blue light from inside the arena, possibly the jumbotron, is reflecting off Gibson’s shiny, sweaty shaved head. However, a deeper look reveals this not to be the case. Instead, the explanation is far more sinister:
Taj Gibson is an alien.
How did we not notice this before? The telltale signs are all there:
-Smooth, round head (all aliens have smooth, round heads)
-Blue (most aliens are blue in color)
-Tall (aliens, being unconstrained by oppressive gravity, are very tall)
-Synthesizes energy from sound waves, not from ingestion of nutrients (this is how aliens survive on harsh alien planets)
-Hyperintelligent (how else would aliens get to earth?)
-Plays for the Knicks (only aliens who are simply having fun doing human things and taking part in fun human activities would agree to play for a garbage organization like the Knicks)
-Romantically pursues attractive earthling dance team members (aliens are asexual and only have one gender, but they can impregnate human women with their spores)
-Drinks gatorade (aliens need to keep their bodies moist or they dry out like Spongebob in that one episode)
Since we have conclusively concluded that Taj Gibson is an alien visitor from another planet, the next question is, can we have him abduct James Dolan onto his spaceship and encase him in a prison cell made out of lasers? Is that doable?