OFFICIAL WAYS TO PRONOUNCE “DANUEL” POWER RANKINGS 1. “Dan-You-Ell”. Since I am an expert at English-language pronunciation, you can take my word for it that this is how House’s fist name really should be pronounced if following the rules of the language. It’s like Manuel with a D. 2. “Dan-Ooh-Ell”. Pretty close to correct, but…
Read MoreDay: February 12, 2020
Landry Shamet 19 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2020)
Patty Mills attained a notable statline tonight, scoring 20 points while record 0 each of rebounds, assists, steals, and blocks. That kind of nothing-but-scoring performance always captures my heart, because scoring is the whole point of the game and the other things don’t excite me very much. I call it “pulling a Snell”. Landry Shamet…
Read MoreWenyen Gabriel 12 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2020)
Perhaps the most notable thing to happen in Wenyen Gabriel’s career up to this point is when Adrian Wajonoosker announced that he (Gabriel) had been traded from the Kings to the Blazers as part of the Bazemore/Ariza swap. The tweet itself wasn’t that notable except it identified Gabriel as “Wendell Gabriel”. Ouch. The disrespect stings,…
Read MoreDerrick White 17 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (2/11/2020)
After coming up with the genius idea of manufacturing and selling a Derrick White realdoll, and having my sales pitch ignored by everybody in the Spurs’ front office despite standing outside their building for hours with a megaphone and a notebook full of hand-drawn sketches of the product, I’ve decided to go into business for…
Read MoreDejounte Murray Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2020)
Dejounte Murray (whose first name is apparently not pronounced “Deh-JOONT”, but I’m going to keep pronouncing it that way anyway, come at me bro) just set a new career high mostly on the back of a quintessentially Spursian shot, the midrange jimbo. Somewhere, LaMarcus Aldridge and DeMar DeRozan are tagteam hugging him while crying. Aside…
Read MoreTomas Satoransky 19 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (2/11/2020)
The average American knows nothing about Czechia or the Czech people. Most wouldn’t be able to point it out on a map. Most probably wouldn’t even come close to pointing at the right part of the map. Even the fact that the Czech Republic got renamed to Czechia, like, four years ago is probably lost…
Read MorePatty Mills 20 Points/0 Rebounds/0 Assists/0 Steals/0 Blocks Full Highlights (2/11/2020)
Tony Snell captured the heart of NBA fans worldwide two years ago when he recorded the immortal statline of 18/0/0/0/0. To score so many points, while having so little impact on the rest of the game going on around him, was unprecedented. Now, in the year 2020, Patty Mills has achieved the same glorious feat,…
Read MoreZion Williamson 31 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/11/2020)
Zion Williamson opened his eyes from…not sleep, exactly, but something close to it. When he saw nothing but gleaming silver clouds above his head, he blinked once. Nothing changed. He closed his eyes and opened them again after a few seconds. Still no change. Somehow, he had sleepwalked and ended up outside. Or had he?…
Read MoreRui Hachimura 20 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (2/11/2020)
I didn’t indicate it in the title (update: I changed my mind, people have to know about this), but Rui Hachmiura had 2 blocks in this game. 2 blocks doesn’t sound like very many (probably because there’s only one positive integer lower than 2), but it really is for him. I’ll let you guess how…
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