Well, John Beilein is out in Cleveland. That’s a relief for me because I have never heard Beilein’s name pronounced out loud (presumably it was said during college basketball broadcasts back when he was coaching at Michigan, but I don’t watch college basketball), so internally, I was pronouncing it all sorts of weird ways. “Bay-lean”, “Bay-lee-ine”, “Bay-lane”, “Bye-len” (what Hawks fans happily said at the trade deadline), “Beh-lin”…whatever pronunciations could be considered to be reasonably logical, I was using them.
Now the Cavs are coached by none other than J.B. Bickerstaff, whose name is easy to pronounce. It also lends itself to funny nicknames. I have been calling him “Joe Blob Dickerstaff” for several years to great personal hilarity. However, there is no reason to refer to Bickerstaff by disparaging nicknames because there is nothing he’s going to be able to do to turn this Cavaliers roster, as constructed, into a winning team. Just no way at all. His coaching abilities or lack of them are utterly irrelevant here. You could drop a legendary coach like Mike Budenholzer or Rick Carlisle on this group of scrubs and the best thing that would happen is that you would maybe convince Kevin Love to stop being such a whiner. They certainly wouldn’t be able to affect any change on the Cavs’ sad offense.
Cedi Osman tried his best to bring some vitality and excitement to the Cavs’ sad offense, and he sort of succeeded, except the Cavs still got BTFO the frick out. His 19/7/7 line was LeBronesque, but the Cavs need way more than just one player being LeBronesque in order to win games. They need Sexton to be Iversonesque. They need Garland to be Wadeesque. They need Exum to be Kobeesque. They need Love to be Loveesque (not trashesque). And we all know that none of those things are going to happen.