Normally, in situations such as these, I would be readying my tear-harvesting machinery for use on fans of the Denver Nuggets. After all, their team is the one that gave up Juan Hernangomez, who has turned out to be a viable stretch four in the NBA and will be lowkey one of the more coveted players in free agency next offseason. They have plenty of things to cry about. Malik Beasley is another thing that would cause their tear ducts to divulge those life-giving tears which I can collect in gallon jugs and then bathe in.
The thing is, I have no animosity towards Nuggets fans. I have animosity towards a lot of fanbases in the NBA, mostly for jealousy reasons or petty personal reasons, but that animosity is not found in my relationship with fans of the Denver team. Maybe it’s because I sympathize with them as a fellow smaller market who will necessarily struggle to attract star-level talent in free agency. Maybe it’s also because they have Nikola Jokic, who is one of the main reasons why my channel is so successful to this day. No matter the reason, I would find it unethical to take Nuggets fans hostage and then strap them into my nightmarish contraptions that are designed to collect tears from them.
That said, it would be easy to extract tears in this situation. They gave up two very promising players to the Timberwolves, and now both of those players are balling out. Since Nuggets fans are certainly crying at this point in the description, they are welcome to put their tears into empty soda bottles and mail them to me. Voluntarily, of course. I could not accept tears shed through coercion.