To this day, one of my greatest regrets in my life is not making a highlight video of Brad Wanamaker scoring fourteen points against the Clippers on November 20, 2019. It pains me to lay bare my failures like this, in the most public of arenas, but it is part of the atonement process that I must go through.
The other part of the atonement process is uploading this highlight video, which shows Brad Wanamaker scoring fifteen points, a number of points that is, as you will note, one more than the point total of the unmade Wanamaker video from November. Not only that, but this video takes place during the PLAYOFFS, and, as everybody knows, defenders are more locked-in during the PLAYOFFS. By my reckoning, it is ten times harder to score fifteen in the PLAYOFFS than it is to score fourteen in the regular season. Therefore, this video is ten times as good as that video I never made, and I have repaid my debt to society ten times over.
So why do I still feel so guilty?
Some questions will never be answered. I suspect this guilt will follow me until my dying day, when the final frail utterance from my blue, oxygen-starved lips will be, “Sorry Brad”. My gathered family members will have no idea who I’m talking about, as I will probably not have any family members or acquaintances named Brad (I generally avoid Brads), but maybe Wanamaker will somehow feel that terminal exhalation of my mortal essence and grant me forgiveness.
If not, there’d better not be a frickin’ afterlife, because I don’t want this guilt ruining my one and only chance to hang out with the deity or deities who granted us the gift (or curse) of existence.