https://youtu.be/XE-seQ2vIA8
If you went back in time and told me, the DownToBuck that existed four years go, that the skinny dude who played exactly one minute for the Warriors in the 2017-18 season as a 25-year-old rookie would eventually be scoring 38 points in a sanctioned NBA contest, I would have laughed in your face and called you a casual. I would also have accused you of drinking the “Warriors turn everything into gold” kool-aid that so many people were drinking at the time.
Additionally, I would have demanded the use of your time machine so that I could fix whatever it is that went wrong between me and Jennifer. I still don’t know why it ended the way it did, and I can’t ask her because she’s gone forever. But whatever the reason is, I would find it out, and if Jennifer still left me after my attempts to fix things, then I would just use the time machine to go back in time AGAIN to re-fix our relationship AGAIN. Over and over until I hit the magic combination of scenarios where she doesn’t eventually leave me.
I wonder if Jennifer ever thinks about me. I wonder if she has some kind of YouTube channel operating under a pseudonym where she talks about her relationship with me and how she regrets the way that it ended, in between doing makeup tutorials that get fifteen views each.
But, until such a time traveler visits me with a time machine and tells these tales about Chris Boucher to 2017 me, there’s nothing I can do to repair the past. The only thing I can do is look happily towards a future where women are out of my life forever and where Chris Boucher is regularly scoring thirty points for the Warriors while also making Aron Baynes look like a worthless pile of rotting grade-Z kangaroo meat that has a crappy beard attached to it. Some of these jimbos are absolutely filthy, and I’ve decided that, instead of the companionship of a woman in my life, what I really need is for Boucher to be the #1 option on offense for the rest of the season. If the Raptors are gonna tank, they should tank with style, and there’s nothing more stylish than Boucher dropping forty-burgers in a loss.