https://youtu.be/d_YF-86CekE
For a brief period of time, just two seasons, Dewayne “Judge Dedd” Dedmon was a stretch-five. He wasn’t a particularly prominent stretch-five, but the 2018-19 season saw him shoot 38% from deep, so I would say that he was a very effective stretch five even if most casual fans had no idea who he was. I did my best to upload as many videos for him as I could, however, despite my best efforts, Dedmania never really got off the ground. In fact, Dedmania burrowed deeper into the ground where nobody would find it. And that’s totally unfair.
Dedmon’s stretchiness and his fiviness led the Kings to sign him to a 3-year, forty million dollar contract in a move that was so prototypically “Kings” that it almost seems like a parody of itself. Dedmon lost his ability to shoot threes the very instant his feet touched the Sacramento ground, and then he demanded a trade TO THE PRESS, which was another hilarious thing because players of the caliber of Dewayne Dedmon don’t just demand trades during press interviews.
Dedmon eventually got his wish, but his three-point shooting has not returned, and I can no longer in good conscience call him a “stretch five”. He’s played in eight games for the Heat now, and has attempted just three three-pointers, missing all of them. If the Heat signed him off the garbage pile of discarded players in order to be a Kelly Olynyk replacement, well, they didn’t do a very good job of communicating this to him, because he is not playing like Kelly Olynyk at all. He’s playing like a souped-up Udonis Haslem.
Speaking of Udonis Haslem, is that guy still on the roster? He’s gotta be, right? Please tell me he’s on the roster. The day he’s unrostered is the day that Miami Heat basketball truly dies.