https://youtu.be/kskHFxGijMY
OFFICIAL REASONS WHY THE SPURS LOST THIS GAME DESPITE BEING UP BY 32 POINTS POWER RANKINGS
1. Gregg Popovich isn’t even a good coach, and teams without good coaches tend to give up huge leads like it’s no big deal. (Note: this opinion, unlike some of the others espoused in these power rankings, is stated unironically. I could be considered a good coach too if you gave me a bunch of HOFers)
2. Jayson Taint-Dumb scoring 60 like he’s Larry Bird or something, which is totally unfair.
3. Probably something to do with COVID.
4. Nachos, or more specifically, the substandard cheese used at the TD garden concession stands.
5. Sometimes bad stuff happens for no reason, it sucks but that’s the way it goes
POWER GAP OF ETERNAL SPURS-FAN ANGUISH
69. Luka Samanic being kind of a bust, if he could’ve just given the Spurs 1 point, JUST ONE POINT, they would’ve won in regulation.
70. I didn’t see any big ol’ San Antonio women in the stands, just saying.
POWER ABYSS OF ULTIMATE CHOKEJOB
420. Tim Duncan
421. Tony Parker
422. Manu Ginobili
POWER CHASM OF CHASMIC CHASMITUDE
9001. Lonnie Walker scoring 24 tough points in an inspired effort while his teammates bumbled around sucking their thumbs.