https://youtu.be/xR–Yd1q76w
The more I think about it, the more I really like my prospective nickname for Moritz “Der Gotterdammerung” Wagner, “Floppy Disk”. We can retire the “Der Gotterdammerung” nickname, because you plebs are too dumb to grok the FULL meaning of it. You cultureless swine. You disgust me.
“Floppy Disk” just sounds really cool. Got some of that 80’s/90’s nostalgia with the retro computing technology, perfectly synergized with the incredible floppiness of Wagner and his mega-lips. Wagner has developed a reputation as a flopper, and rightfully so. Unlike someone like Ersan Ilyasova, who is actually able to take charges while staying rigid, and otherwise doesn’t exaggerate contact, Wagner is SUPER floppy. He’s always hitting the deck. He’s not as renowned yet as Chris Paul (anyone else remember the “Heliflopter”?), but that’s because he’s not on the Lakers anymore. Put him on a team that’s not the Magic (or the ‘Zards [or the Celtics]), and people will remember.
I’m trying to decide if further enhancing the nickname to “Floppy Dirk” would be acceptable. Of course, you always want to pay homage to Dirk Nowitzki, and the comparisons between him and Wagner are immediate and obvious (Germanitude, tallness, shooting ability). But then the “Disk” part of the nickname is lost, and it seems like we’re just saying that Wagner is a floppy version of Dirk. Which he is. Kinda. It’s kind of a stretch to connect that to the concept of an old form of data storage.
Note: if anyone tries to modify the nickname to replace the “s” in “Floppy Disk” with a “c”, I will call the police. And they will arrest you for being so vulgar.