https://youtu.be/QeFqBnfS8uM
At the risk of sounding like I’m focused on irrelevancies rather than the actual sport of basketball, does anybody else share my opinion that Raul Neto is the most attractive guy currently on the ‘Zards? Scrolling down the list of players that comprise the ‘Zards roster, I can easily picture these dudes in my mind, and most of them are just way below Neto in terms of attractiveness. Some of them are reasonably attractive, or even very attractive, but Neto’s breathtaking combination of boyishness and ruggedness just blows everybody else out of the water. It’s the beard. And the eyes. And the hair. And the facial proportions.
Honestly, Chandler Hutchison might be the only player who gets close. His hairline is straighter than…well, it’s pretty damn straight, and he’s got the conventionally attractive facial structure to go with it. If Neto wasn’t on this team, Hutchison would be taking this contest hands-down. But Neto IS on the team, and therefore he’s the one who attracts all the female attention when out and about, reducing the rest of his teammates to looking at pictures of Instagram models on their phones while Neto himself is the only one who gets to interact with real-life human women. And only when Neto turns down all that attention because he has a harem of 10/10 Brazilian girlfriends at home will anybody else on the ‘Zards even get to have a chance to receive a scrap of female attention.
Neto’s also having a career year in both shooting percentages and raw per-game scoring. His assists are down, but that’s the Westbrook effect in action and we’re not going to blame Neto for that. When you combine Neto’s stunning looks which elicit arousal in women and respect/envy/admiration/arousal in men, and his newfound statistical worthiness on the basketball court, that means he’s gonna get some money this off-season. I don’t think teams are going to be tricked into thinking he’s a starting-quality point guard, but I think most teams are going to (rightly) see Neto as a high-end backup PG on the Cory Joseph tier. They just have to be aware of the fact that he might cause locker room strife by literally stealing girlfriends and wives from his teammates without even trying.