https://youtu.be/Y7_5mFkyAHc
It is my duty as an uploader of scrub-centric highlight videos to try to generate hype for scrubs wherever and whenever I can. To that end, I have been brainstorming ways to increase the visibility of the Lithuanian Lumberjack himself, Ignas Brazdeikis. Not only will increased visibility aid Brazdeikis in securing future NBA contracts, it will aid me in coercing the citizens of Lithuania into donating to my Patreon.
This past weekend I came up with a great idea: since Brazdeikis’ nickname is “Brazzers”, why not try to register “brazzers.com” and use it as the home base of a grassroots hype effort? If there was just one website where news items about Brazdeikis, and highlight clips of Brazdeikis, and exclusive one-on-one interviews with Brazdeikis were located, separate of all the major social media platforms, that would be perfect for leveraging into Brazdeikis’ personal brand. You could even sell merch with the “Brazzers” logo on it, once somebody designed such a logo.
The only problem is, brazzers.com is already taken. I went there to see if it had just been registered by squatters or something (somebody did that with downtobuck.com, which I find endlessly hilarious and pathetic), but when the page loaded there were a bunch of naked women on it. Also some naked men, but the focus was definitely on naked women. I’m sure I was fairly red in the face when I closed the tab after no more than eight seconds of staring at the lewd content of that page with wide eyes. Afterwards, my “special area” felt funny for a while, but then later it felt normal again. And now that I’m thinking about brazzers.com again I’m starting to get the funny feeling again “down there”.
So brazzers.com as the headquarters for all things Ignas Brazdeikis isn’t going to work. We’re going to have to come up with a plan B. And plan “B” can’t stand for “Brazzers”. For reasons stated above.