https://youtu.be/bCHejMy8GL4
At the end of last season, I uploaded what many consider to be the magnum opus of my highlight-making career: a John Konchar bucketilation, showcasing all 23 of his field goals from the 2019-20 season. Over five thousand people watched that video. That expansive viewership only confirms what we already knew: that John Konchar is one of the most entertaining players in the NBA today. What most people don’t know is that I was actually sued by the NBA after uploading that video. In the lawsuit that I got in the mail, they NBA claimed that their revenue had plummeted to $0 because nobody was watching games or buying merchandise anymore, they were just watching my illicitly-uploaded John Konchar video on repeat in lieu of consuming any other type of basketball content.
I ignored their lawsuit and it must have went away on its own because I’m not in prison yet. It was a frivolous lawsuit anyway; obviously they were still making money selling John Konchar jerseys. Any judge in the country would have taken one look at it, laughed, and thrown it out. They would also have laughed at my ill-fitting suit adorning my dangerously skinny frame. If I had bothered to show up to the courthouse at all. Which I don’t think I would have. That said, the John Konchar bucketilation was so sick and filthy that I would entirely approve legislation that would make its existence illegal and its distribution a crime.
Here’s the link, by the way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrAFICu5FhI
Now it’s 2021 and Konchar has shown that he isn’t done developing. In this single game, he hits seven shots, almost one third of the amount of shots he hit during the entire 2019-20 season. In that sense, watching this video is like watching one third of a bucketilation. I don’t know how any sane individual would be able to turn down the opportunity to watch this video. You would have to literally not enjoy basketball. I know those people exist, but they’re not likely to be stumbling upon my channel or my videos if that is their attitude towards the sport of basketball. Simply put, if YouTube is suggesting this video to you or you found it on your own, you are a bad person if you don’t watch it, and history will judge you harshly.