https://youtu.be/Dg5BkkjFMjw
So far this season, I have not gotten a lot of mileage out of my “Maxey Taxi” nickname for Tyrese Maxey. However, do not let the volume of nickname usage imply that I no longer harbor enthusiasm for this nickname. In truth, my enthusiasm for this nickname has never been higher. It is, frankly, one of my best nickname creations ever, and I’m the one who famously coined the “Brazzers” nickname for Ignas Brazdeikis, much to the delight of internet users worldwide.
Maxey is like a taxi in that he goes very fast through heavy traffic with no concern for who or what he might run into. He’s just interested in weaving around obstacles until he gets to his destination, and then he gets paid. This is exactly how taxi drivers behave in, for example, New York City. Maxey is also like a taxi in that he enjoys picking up passengers to come along on the ride with him. This usually manifests itself by flat-footed defenders trying desperately to keep up with Maxey’s quickness until he posterizes them with a huge layup at the rim.
Yeah, I just spontaneously decided that you can posterize people with layups. Fight me.
The Maxey Taxi just dropped thirty points in a heated battle with fellow rookie Cole Anthony. Anthony came out ahead with 37 points, but remember, the Magic are a team stuck in purgatory with only faint hope for the future, while the Sixers are sitting atop the East and seem poised to be near the top of the East standings for a good long while. So the real winner is Maxey. Except Anthony gets to start his off-season now, which means lots of chillaxing in the nice Orlando weather with hot babes all around him, while Maxey has to keep traveling with the Sixers and playing basketball, drastically limiting his ability to view and cavort with bikini-clad women. So the real winner is actually Anthony. I think.