https://youtu.be/rlpiu4Zw2_o
We live in a world where a guy who only signed his contract on April 1st is his team’s leading scorer in their most important game of the season to date. That’s crazy. Obviously the Pacers signed Oshae Brissett because they thought he would be good, but they didn’t sign him to play a major 30 MPG role for them, or, at least, I don’t think they signed him with the expectation that he would play that large of a role. Sometimes players are just able to seize on an opportunity in unexpected ways. Brissett is clearly one of those players. The dangling scrotum of opportunity was hanging right in front of Brissett’s face, and not only did he grab onto the scrotum of opportunity and hold on for dear life, but he yanked HARD on it, and he also plucked out all the hairs that were growing from it.
Raptors fans must be feeling considerable amounts of pain right now, given that the Raptors clearly didn’t make the most of Brissett’s presence on their roster last season, and then let him walk away for nothing. They were looking all over for their Kawhi replacement, and they thought it might be Siakam or Anunoby, but it turns out that the REAL Kawhi replacement was Brissett but nobody was paying enough attention to realize it. It hurts even worse because Brissett is FROM Toronto. They had the hometown hero and they didn’t even want him.
It is a well-known fact that I revel in the pain of Raptors fans. And just so everybody knows, I am definitely reveling right now. I am reveling so hard. The pain of Raptors fans is what drives me. I can exist solely on a diet of Raptors fan pain for up to sixteen days without otherwise taking in any nutrients. It’s like photosynthesis but with pain. Painosynthesis.