https://youtu.be/OpI4-CbjP6c
We all know that the universe possesses a low-level sentience that is capable of malevolence. This grand consciousness has no personality and no rationality, but it does have hate. And, going into this game, it really seemed like the universe was directing its uncontrolled and overwhelming malevolence at the Brooklyn Nets:
-Kyrie Irving was out
-James Harden was hobbled (five points in 46 minutes)
-Joe Harris was dookie
-New York style pizza is a culinary abomination and Chicago-style thin crust dominates it in every way
-DeAndre Jordan was as good as dead, or perhaps actually dead; has anybody done a welfare check on him lately?
-Kevin Durant was faced with trying to beat the Bucks pretty much by himself
-Greasy floppy triangles are not “pizza”. They are not even “food”
But thanks in part to the heroic efforts of one man named Jeff Green, the Nets somehow stole this game away from the Bucks. Green’s offensive contributions in the first half were crucial to the Nets still being within striking distance as the third quarter started, and then his timely buckets (plus Durant’s total takeover of the game) allowed the Nets to outscore the Bucks by 22 points in the second half and win it.
So now I’m convinced that the universe is actually targeting its unthinking stream of hatred towards the Bucks, and towards me specifically. Luckily, I mentally checked out of the playoffs a long time ago for my own sanity, so this cosmic malice just bounces off me, like I’m being pelted by packing peanuts thrown by a toddler. Meanwhile, the rest of the Bucks fandom writhes in pure anguish as they recall failed ISO possession after failed ISO possession interspersed with Durant and Green effortlessly getting buckets. Just call me DownToIndifference.