Attention Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot: your name takes way too many syllables to say. I’m counting nine distinct phonological units. Maybe you’ve heard of this good player, played for the Lakers a bit, named Shaq? Yeah. Check that out. Only one syllable. That’s why people liked him so much; because they didn’t have to take a sip of water halfway through saying his name.
It was bad enough before you tacked on that extra “Cabarrot”, but that extraneous name made it 10 times worse. Not to mention how swiftly your name recognition went down the drain. Draft fiends were excited about a prospect named “Luwawu” because maybe you were Samoan or something. “Luwawu-Cabarrot”? Who the heck is that?
Even after making and watching this vid I’m still confused. Who did I just watch drop 12 points on the Wizards? Was it someone I should know about, someone I could have known about had I paid attention to the draft? I don’t know. All I know is that every time I heard the commentators say your name I pulled out my stopwatch and calculated how much of my time they were wasting. Here’s a hint: it was a lot. My time is valuable, Timothe.