Quick quiz: which part of Stephen Curry is made of glass? A) Face B) Ankles C) Colon D) None of the above as he is mostly carbon.
Answer: B) Ankles! Curry has glass ankles and he can barely walk out the front door without thousands of ankle shards spraying out in every direction. You can hear little shattering noises every time he goes up for a jumper. If he gets crossed over just one more time, his NBA career will probably be over and they will have to amputate his feet. But I hear that in wheelchair basketball you don’t even need to have feet to participate, which will be good news for a footless Curry.
Until that happens, Curry continues to be the NBA’s premier pure shooter. He also can assist the rock with the best of them, but only once he tires of shooting (sometimes when you’re really good at something you get bored with it, you know?). I would chastise him for his lack of explosive dunking ability, but considering the carnage that would ensue once he landed, maybe it would be better for him to stick to an unathletic savvy old-man’s game.