Rodney Hood 27 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2019)

Rodney Hood scored all 27 of his points in the final fourteen and a half minutes of this game. He was basically scoring two points per minute for the entire time he was out there. That’s pretty nuts. I’m sure Stotts put him out there near the end of the third quarter just to see if he could hold down the fort for a few minutes, but he did way more than just “hold down the fort” for a “few” minutes. He built an entirely new fort and used it as the headquarters of his reign over the Hornets, which was tyrannical and unmerciful.

It’s interesting to note that C.J. McCollum, the player for whom Hood acts as a backup, had a dismal game, scoring just six points on thirteen shots in over thirty minutes of game time. The coincidentiality of McCollum playing like a gigantic butt cheek and Hood playing like he was trying to show off to LeBron is too much to ignore. I’m going to advance a controversial, yet 100% accurate theory: Rodney Hood, for this one game, used his sorcerous powers of witchcraft to STEAL C.J. McCollum’s powers from him.

If I’m the Trailblazers management, I consider levying a heavy fine on Hood for using magic powers to steal a teammate’s basketball skills like the Monstars but in real life. Sure, the Blazers won the game, but if you’ve got players stealing each other’s abilities all willy-nilly in the locker room, you run into three issues. One, teammates will no longer trust each other. Two, one player might steal the abilities of all the other players, leaving the team entirely reliant on the ability-stealer to score any points at all. Three, the magical residue of all those magic spells would summon Satan himself through a hell-portal and he would drag the entire arena into the hellish inferno of torment.

So, Rodney, if you’re reading this, it’s cool that you have magic powers, but please stop using them before you accidentally summon Satan and force the NBA to relocate the arena-less Blazers to Seattle.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.