Dewayne Dedmon AKA Dedmonstrations AKA Dewaynemaker AKA Judge Dedd AKA Dedmon Walking continues to play enough like a stretch five that he should get a relatively sizable contract this summer. In addition to his three-point accuracy and noted ability to catch alley-oops, he should also be viewed as a good character guy because he goes out and plays hard every night even though the Hawks suck and he’s not likely to be in their long-term plans. It’s not just because it’s a contract year for Judge Dedd. It’s because he values hard work and commitment. Probably.
Not to mention the forehead wrinkles. GM’s will see that as a sign of wisdom and locker-room leadership. How else would the forehead wrinkles get there? Dedmon’s forehead wrinkles are top ten in the league, therefore, his ability to reign in out-of-control young players is also top ten in the league. Probably.
And if Dedmon does get signed to a big NBA deal, he should cut me at least 40% of the total value of the contract, given that I’ve tirelessly made highlight videos for him since his Orlando days. GM’s definitely use my highlight videos to make personnel decisions, so it stands to reason that I should be compensated for my efforts. I’ll even take 30%, but no lower. I’ve got a family to feed (Japurri meows at the screen).