In this episode of DTB’s Honesty Hour, where your favorite highlight-uploading friend DTB tells only true things and no lies, I’ll be talking about the rapidly-ascending Raptors’ star, Pascal Siakam. Remember, everything I type during the Honesty Hour, by rule, has to be true. If it was false or incorrect, it wouldn’t be an Honesty Hour.
At this point, Pascal Siakam is too good for my channel. That’s the honest truth. You know it’s the truth because I’m saying it during my self-assigned Honesty Hour where no lies can be uttered. Siakam doesn’t have a “normal” scoring game, but he’s figured out ways to score that are effective for him, even when defenses started gameplanning for him as the Raptors’ third option. Sometimes he might even be the second option, depending on how booty Kyle Lowry is playing on that day.
Despite the fact that Siakam should have graduated from DTB a few months ago, I’m committed to seeing this thing through until the end of the season. The All-Star break is the deadline for me to make changes to my channel roster. Even if Siakam plays like an All-Star in the playoffs. Besides, I covet the video views from crazed Raptor fans who consume every shred of Raptors-related media on the internet with voraciousness that rivals the greedy hunger with which Japurri attacks his bowl of salmon- and chicken-flavored Fancy Feast.
Also, I think it should be illegal that all the McDonalds restaurants in my area raised the price of a Sausage McMuffin from $1.00 to $1.89. That’s my honest opinion, which is why I’m presenting it during my Honesty Hour. Aren’t there laws regarding price-fixing? Why did all the McDonalds around me do it at once? I feel like arrests should be happening right now.
Thus concludes DTB’s Honesty Hour. Stay tuned for the next episode where I discuss the state of Aron Baynes’ top knot.