The Pacers are yet to win a game this season, one of the few teams still winless while the rest of the league douses themselves in champagne. I was told that they were going to be a fringe contender in the East this season, so what gives? I’ve been doing some analysis of the situation using FACTS and LOGIC, and I’ve apportioned the blame so that Pacers fans will know who to blame:
25 percent of the blame goes to Nate McMillan for running an offense that is literally nothing but screen-and-rolls. That’s all it is. Sometimes I wish the Bucks would run one or two, since they literally never run them, but this is too much.
2 percent of the blame goes to Domantas Sabonis. He’s playing fine, but I swear his face is getting pointier by the season and it’s freaking me out. He’s gonna be a god-damn literal triangle in a few years.
39 percent of the blame goes to Malcolm Brogdon because of much a bad player he is and I hate him and I definitely don’t want him back on the Bucks to replace Eric Bledsoe, no I definitely do not, Brogdon sucks, suck suck suck, he sucks.
5 percent of the blame goes to the fans on account of how they’re not cheering hard enough. How is a team supposed to win games when the fans don’t chant “M-V-P!” for every Pacers player that goes to the free-throw line?
28 percent of the blame goes to Metta World Peace, whose actions under the name “Ron Artest” placed a curse on the Pacers franchise that will never be lifted. Normally curses have some sort of condition that you can reach and the curse will go away, but not in this case. There is no going back from punching a fan in the face.
1 percent of the blame goes to you, the viewer. Shame on you.