Duncan “Sampson Olajuwon” Robinson’s quest for a perfect free-throw shooting ended tonight, as he missed 1 of his 3 attempts, leaving him at 14 for 15 on the season. If there was a Twitch chat for this Heat game (which there probably was on one of those shady streaming sites), I’m sure it was flooded with “F”s at the moment of his miss. That is, if the viewers realized that they were watching history go down the tubes.
With his free-throw goal out the window, Robinson will now have to find something else to play for. Some overarching goal that will keep his energy levels up during the regular season. I was going to suggest “most three pointers made by a rookie” but then I remembered that Robinson isn’t even a rookie. Why do I keep thinking that? Am I combining him and Tyler Herro? I even made a vid for him last year and was eagerly tracking his progress all season.
So all goals based around being a rookie are out. And no one cares about sophomore records except for total nerds. I’ve been thinking about it, and I think his only option is to go for the single-season three-point makes record. It’ll be tough. He’s going to have shoot so many shots that his arms will feel like strawberry jello. But I think this is feasible. He’s already basically an eighth of the way there, and we’re only, like, a fourth of the way through the season. If he makes as many threes as he did tonight (5), he won’t quite make it, but once you’ve hit five, the sixth is super easy, so that should be his goal.
And I’ll be ready with the three-ilation when he gets there. Or even if he doesn’t.