I don’t want to make Jeff Teague highlights, no one wants to watch Jeff Teague highlights, yet the universe has cosmically decided that Jeff Teague highlights are to exist and there is nothing any mortal can do about it. Do you ever feel like you are being endlessly buffeted to and fro by the winds of fate, dragged in directions you don’t want to go by the chains of preordainment? I sure do.
Jeff Teague isn’t tormenting me as much as he was last year or nearly as much as the year before that, but I’m still extremely salty that I have to make this video. Here’s the real secret behind my “love” for role-players and scrubs: pretending to prefer those players over stars means I don’t have to make videos like this that are just way too long. Look at this. Three and a half minutes of JEFF TEAGUE highlights. That’s a lot of runtime for the better players in the league, long enough where I’d start skipping through trying to find the good stuff, but Teague? There is no good stuff to be found here, folks. Unless you like some barely All-Star point guard pretending he’s still good.
I spent a good chunk of the last two years praying that someone would come and tell me “you know what Dee Tee Bee, you don’t have to make Jeff Teague highlights anymore”. My prayers were never answered, but since he’s been demoted pretty hard in Minnesota, I stopped praying. That was a mistake. A big mistake, and I’m paying for it now. All the praying in the world won’t change the fact that I wasted a significant portion of my time on this earth creating this video.