Since it is plainly obvious to me that Christian Wood is a key component of the Pistons’ future (while Andre Drummond and Blake Griffin are NOT considered to be so vital), I have started a local awareness campaign to make sure that the average person is aware that Wood needs to be getting thirty minutes per game and all the touches he wants. Sure, my local area is more about the Bucks and they don’t care about the Pistons, but all major social movements have to start small, right?
So I put up signs all around my apartment building saying “Free Christian Wood” with my apartment number so they can talk to me and find out more. The message of the signs couldn’t be clearer to me. Christian Wood needs to be metaphorically “freed” from the chains placed on him by his coaches and teammates. If the Pistons aren’t willing to free him, then they need to ship him off to a team that will do him right.
But I don’t know if everybody else is interpreting the signs in the same way I interpret them. I’ve been getting a nonstop stream of visitors looking for firewood for their fireplaces or campfires or whatever, and some of these people come to my place armed with crosses and bibles, ready to talk about the “good news”. Well, the only “good news” I want to talk about is the good news of Wood getting more minutes as of late, but none of these people know anything about basketball. So I’m standing there saying that Wood needs to be encouraged to shoot three-pointers whenever he wants, and these people are talking about how their bible camp is having a big bonfire where they’re going to sing songs about Jesus and salvation and stuff. I’m like, who cares about our personal salvation in the eyes of the Lord when Christian Wood needs salvation from his incompetent coach?
Then they get all mad at me because I don’t have piles of firewood that I’m just giving to people. Duh, my apartment doesn’t even have a fireplace, why would I keep piles of wood around?
#freechristianwood