OFFICIAL DTB POLICY UPDATE: Under no circumstances will I ever, EVER, show assists in a Tim Hardaway Jr. video. Except, of course, if other people are doing the assisting and THJ is doing the scoring. The reason for this unexpected but necessary update to DTB’s OFFICIAL policies? Simply put, it’s because the whole point of THJ’s existence is to score the ball. He was not put on the court to rebound or to play anything beyond mediocre defense or to pass the ball.
When I saw that THJ had five assists in this game, I immediately had to run to my gigantic binder of OFFICIAL DTB policies to see if I had many THJ-specific amendments to my policies. After frantically combing through the disorganized jumble of handwritten notes, I came to the conclusion that I had no such policies in place. Hence the emergency announcement made in conjunction with the uploadment of this THJ highlight video. You can rest easy knowing that I have shoved a post-it note containing this new DTB policy into the DTB Policy Binder so that it will never be forgotten.
Note that there is one exception to this “no assists” rule for Tim Hardaway Jr.: if he throws an alley-oop to a teammate, then I am allowed to use my discretion as to whether or not it is included in a highlight video. This is the only situation I can foresee where a THJ assist would be entertaining enough to depict, despite knowing that its depiction would interrupt the otherwise unbroken scoring exhibition that a THJ highlight video typically presents. So don’t come at me telling me I broke my own rule by including a THJ lob pass in this video. You think I don’t know my own rules?