Kendrick “Nunn So Vile” Nunn cannot be blamed for the Heat’s embarrassing loss to the Timberwolves last night. Not only did he lead the team in points, but he led the team in several other “intangible” stats as well:
-Heart. Nunn showed the most heart of anybody on his team. (Note that I equate “heart” with “points” because I don’t really have emotions and I don’t know what “heart” really means in the context of the human experience.)
-Hustle. Nunn hustled more than all of his teammates put together. I didn’t watch the game so this is just speculation, but you know that if DTB is speculating something, it’s usually right.
-Grit. Nunn was way grittier than anybody else on the Heat roster except for maybe Kelly Olynyk, who hasn’t showered in sixteen days and has been rolling around on a sandy beach during most of his off days, leaving him covered with sand particles that are basically part of his skin now.
-Leadership. Jimmy Butler is the supposed leader of the Heat, but would the leader of a team get blocked by three players at once on a game-winning layup attempt? No. Nunn has no such blemishes on his leadership resume.
-Assists. At first blush, this is more of a “tangible” stat than an “intangible” stat, but Nunn had seven “intangible” assists in this game (not shown in the video because they’re intangible). That puts his total of thirteen assists higher than Butler’s total of nine assists.