It’s too early in P.J. Washington’s career to make an official pronouncement like this, but what the hell, I’m doing it anyway because I need some material for this video description and I haven’t come up with anything else.
OFFICIAL DTB PRONOUNCEMENT: P.J. Washington PEAKED in his first game, and thus earned the MCWPWPIHFG award. That stands for the “Michael Carter-Williams Player Who Peaked in His First Game” award, and it’s named after Michael Carter-Williams, who famously almost got a quadruple-double in his first game before reality smacked him back down.
I don’t feel too guilty making this official pronouncement because it’s technically true at the moment: Washington has yet to eclipse the 27 points he scored in his rookie debut. Is it likely that Washington exceeds that point total at some point in his career? Yes, I would say that is extremely likely. But it might not happen this season, so that’s a long time for me to be right about my assertion before he proves me wrong by scoring 28 or more in a single game.
Funds are a bit low at the moment, so the MCWPWPIHFG award doesn’t have an associated trophy. The best I can do is email Washington a page of coupons that I scanned out of a three-year-old newspaper that I found in a gutter. These are good coupons. Most of the restaurants are still in business. The only problem, these coupons are only good in Wisconsin, so P.J. is going to come and hang out with me while we try to use them all.
Does anybody have this guy’s email so I can send him the coupons he won?