https://youtu.be/VQcqRrqBz-I
What better way to kick off the new era of DownToBuck (the era where I’m semi-retired and only make videos when I feel like it) than with an opening-night outburst from a highly-touted rookie getting his first real taste of NBA action? I can only think of a few better ways to usher in this more laid-back epoch, and most of them involve Luke Babbitt coming out of retirement, joining the Bucks, and dropping a fifty-burger. Since Luke Babbitt has done no such thing (in fact, I’m 95% certain he actually just straight up died at some point and nobody noticed), this is what we get. And it’s awesome.
Not only is the raw content of this video awesome, but the timing on this is also awesome, because Christmas is just a few days away and we have a guy named “Wiseman” making it too easy for me to pepper this description with Biblical metaphors. We all know the three wise men in the Bible gave gold, frankincense, and myrrh to the little baby Jesus. What three gifts is Wiseman giving us NBA fans?
OFFICIAL GIFT #1: SHOOTING ABILITY. I didn’t know Wiseman could shoot, but that’s because I don’t know anything about any of the rookies. All of their skillsets are a total mystery to me. I know I spend a lot of time denigrating casual NBA fans, but this less-demanding DTB workload is slowly turning me into one. If Wiseman was a known shooter and I’m just being a dumb-dumb, please let me know.
OFFICIAL GIFT #2: DUNKS. Surprise, the 7’1″ guy can dunk. But if he’s a dunking threat not just underneath the rim but in pick-and-roll action and maybe even some drive-to-the-bucket-by-himself action, and you combine that with his apparent shooting skill, you’ve got a taller version of Christian Wood on your hands. True DTB acolytes will know that this is the highest possible compliment I can give.
OFFICIAL GIFT #3: THE ABILITY FOR ME TO MAKE BIBLICAL REFERENCES BASED ON HIS LAST NAME. My religious education has some holes in it, and I veer towards blasphemy on occasion, but I know enough about the Christian religion to make “wise man” references until I’m blue in the face. I could even turn Wiseman into a Jesus-type character by proclaiming that he will “resurrect” the Warriors and be the “savior” of their championship hopes. If anybody at The Athletic wants to lure me out of retirement with a six-figure contract, I can put you in touch with my agent. His name is Japurri and he is easily swayed by Fancy Feast.