https://youtu.be/WWjhqyOilzg
There was an eight-minute stretch of this game, spanning the start of the first and the end of the second quarters, where Pat Connaughton was making the Raptors, and, by extension, the entire nation of Canada, suck his Connuts. He was hitting threes. He was dunking. He was blocking shots. He was using his legs for locomotion. Anything you could feasibly expect to get out of Connaughton, he was providing.
As a Bucks fan, it was a joyous few minutes. It was so joyous that I stopped watching the game so that my pure memories of Connaughton’s stretch of dominance wouldn’t be tainted. That decision worked out well for me because the Bucks went on to lose this game. Am I upset about the loss? Not at all. Because I remember how Connaughton hit a bunch of three-pointers and abused the psyches of every Raptors fan who was unfortunate enough to be tuned in while the carnage played out on their TV screen. I’m thinking about it again right now and I’m smiling. I don’t remember the last time I smiled. Only Patty Ice can evoke these feelings within me.
OFFICIAL DTB APOLOGY: I hereby apologize to Pat Connaughton for alleging that he’s only still on the team because he’s Giannis’ best friend and Giannis has to be made happy. I mean, it’s still true, but I apologize for alleging it.