https://youtu.be/YXhcLxYnDEQ
In the video announcing my semi-retirement from NBA highlights, I penned these words:
“Now, it is with no small amount of relief that I can state unequivocally: I will never upload another Jeff Teague highlight video ever again.”
God damn it.
In good conscience, I couldn’t avoid making this video. Teague has been a bonerfied scrub this season as his career winds down. Celtics fans are tired of him. But he somehow dropped a 26/6 line on 10-of-12 shooting, which is unironically better than any statline Kemba Walker has put up this season. So I had to break my vow to myself in order to upload this video, and I’m feeling two parts self-hate mixed with one-part grudging respect. Teague still has it, folks. Except when he doesn’t have it. Which is almost all of the time now.
Teague has caused me much anguish over my highlight-making career. Nobody really enjoys watching his highlight videos, and nobody really enjoys having this guy on their team, even when he was in his prime, but he would often put up big performances as if telling all his haters that he’s a perfectly viable starting point guard in the league. So much of my time was wasted making videos for this dude. I will never forgive him.
But I swear I’m not uploading another vid for Teague until he drops a thirty-piece. I swear it on all that is holy, as well as some things that are unholy. I will only make an exception if the Teague in question turns out to be Marquis Teague.