https://youtu.be/_rerlY3umpM
OFFICIAL DTB DISCLAIMER: In this highlight video, Darius Bazley makes significantly more free throws (11) than he does field goals (7).
I’m semi-retired. I shouldn’t have to deal with this garbage. Free throws are literally the bane of my existence, and any player who makes too many of them is automatically ignored when it comes to the proprietary algorithm that I use to determine which highlight videos to make. It’s right there in the code, a hard-coded “10”, past which point I will never, EVER make a highlight video.
Not to mention that Bazley shot 37% from the field this game, 7-of-19. Such undisciplined shot selection should NEVER be rewarded with a highlight video. In fact, there’s another line of code in my algorithm which causes the program to output an ASCI middle finger if it runs across a player who shoots below 40% from the field but otherwise qualifies for a highlight video. Sadly, my program didn’t get to this line of code because it skipped Bazley once it saw his outrageous free throw totals, so I didn’t get to see my computer give me the middle finger.
Infuriatingly, this game represents a career high in points for Bazley, so I had to ignore all the carefully-considered rules that I had put in place in order to get this video uploaded. And I am completely salty about it. When Alex Len decided to execute a flying tackle on Bazley and picked up a flagrant foul for his troubles, I could totally see why he would do that. I sort of want to do that too. The only problem is, I’m not in any sort of reasonable physical proximity to Bazley’s person, and even if I was, I would just bounce off him if I tried to tackle him. He’s a foot taller than me and has about 400% more muscles. My angry words are going to have to suffice for now. And the middle finger which I am directing at his basketball-reference profile.