https://youtu.be/IUwlIZuYvRk
I don’t know very many things about Pistons fans. In fact, the list of things that I know about Pistons fans is so short that I can enumerate it fully and not even come close to hitting YouTube’s draconian 5,000-character limit on video descriptions:
1. They enjoy Jet’s pizza above all other pizza chains
2. If the arena looks empty, it’s because there’s so much stuff to do in the arena that nobody actually sits in their seats during the game. The arena is like a mall
3. They cherish the Bad Boys era
4. They wish more than anything else in the world that they still had Jason Maxiell on the team, and that Jason Maxiell could gain the ability to never age, so that Jason Maxiell could be on the team forever and ever. Jason Maxiell is the most cherished figure in Detroit sports history
Luckily, on point four, the Pistons got their Jason Maxiell replacement and his name is Isaiah Stewart. Both of them are undersized but stocky enough to make up for it. I’m also guessing that both of them have been referred to as “hustle hounds” at some point in their respective careers, on account of how much they hustle. Pistons fans love this type of player, dating back to the late great Ben Wallace. It’s not Pistons basketball without one of these players on the team.
Now we have to figure out where we’re going to get a Will Bynum replacement. I hear Isaiah Thomas is desperate for an NBA team to sign him, so if the Pistons went this route (not recommended), not only would they get a Will Bynum replacement, but they would get an Isiah Thomas replacement. And an Ish Smith replacement.