So I was going to write a really funny description making light of the fact that Thabo Sefolosha got beat up by a bunch of cops in NYC. Here’s how it would have gone down:
Thabo’s walking towards his locker when all of a sudden a bunch of his teammates all appear out of nowhere and start yelling stuff like “you’re under arrest!” and “get on the ground!” Thabo has a PTSD episode and he tries to lie down on the floor to let himself get arrested peacefully but all his teammates start calling him names and beating him up with billy clubs and they’re yelling “we’re gonna break your legs!” Then Mike Muscala, who’s pretending to be Pero Antic, starts pleading for help because the “cops” are also beating him up, but Thabo can’t do anything to save his friend so he starts crying. Then the ruse is revealed and Thabo is shaken up really badly.
That would have been funny. But here are the reasons I didn’t write it:
-Police brutality is actually not very funny at all.
-I’m saving my description-writing chops for all the -ilations I’m gonna be doing in the next few months
-The Hawks lost and their season is over, so it wouldn’t make sense for them to pull a prank like that unless I made it happen earlier in the season
-The whole “police brutality isn’t funny” thing
Sorry folks.