One game after acquiring the totally pedestrian and barely notable feat of a 5-by-5, Jusuf Nurkic fell embarrassingly short of the goal last night, needing four more assists, two more steals, and four more blocks. He also didn’t even get a quadruple-double. Or a triple-double. Or a double-double. A double-double is, like, almost an automatic…
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Marcin Gortat 18 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/4/2019)
I’ve been ragging on Marcin Gortat the whole season long, concocting plans to lure him back to Poland so that the minutes he takes up with his uselessness can instead be given to players who deserve them way more, Montrezl Harrell and Boban Marjanovic. And, up until this game happened, I would say that I…
Read MoreKris Dunn 16 Points/17 Assists Full Highlights (1/4/2019)
The end of this video blows my mind. There’s so many big shots. There’s so many big plays. If I was watching this game live as a Bulls fan, I would have blown out an aorta and bled to death in my own bedroom. And if I was watching this game live as a Pacers…
Read MoreDeAndre’ Bembry Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2019)
I bet coach Bud of the Bucks is extremely upset about the fact that his former player, DeAndre’ Bembry, had a career high against him. Bud is the one guy in the NBA who would have the most firsthand experience of Bembry’s lack of conventional scoring ability. I bet, right at this very moment, he’s…
Read MoreKyle Anderson Triple Double 11 Pts/11 Rebs/10 Asts Full Highlights (1/4/2019)
Signing the last autograph for the last patient fan, Kyle Anderson waved goodbye to the crowd and headed to the locker room, eager to get out of his sweaty jersey. Enough time had passed since the end of the game that the sting of the loss wasn’t so great. And, as vain as it was,…
Read MoreDomantas Sabonis 23 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2019)
Domantas Sabonis gave various members of the Chicago Bulls his “Saboner” in this game. Saboner-giving Instance #1: At 0:32, Sabonis gives his Saboner to Wendell Carter Jr. for the easy bucket off the strong post move and ball fake. Except it was more like his “Sabonass” than his “Saboner”. Saboner-giving Instance #2: At 0:53, Sabonis…
Read MoreLauri Markkanen 27 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2019)
It is painfully apparent to me that there needs to be a term for a shot that is supremely clutch but is not a game winner, either because it doesn’t actually put the scoring team in the lead or because it is later usurped by an even clutcher shot. Lauri Markkanen’s three-pointer to tie the…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 18 Points Full Highlights (1/3/2019)
“Dear Diary, Trades are scary when Daddy’s not around to tell you that it will all be fine. When I got traded to Phoenix verybody was sending me text messages and it was too much so I went into the bathroom and cried even though there was a part of me that was happy because…
Read MoreDerrick White 19 Points Full Highlights (1/3/2019)
Derrick White needs to do something about that goatee. It makes him look like a villain on a children’s cartoon. I mean, he’d look like a cartoon character anyway no matter what he did with his facial hair, because of how huge is forehead is, but he could at least look like a non-evil one….
Read MoreBryn Forbes 20 Points Full Highlights (1/3/2019)
Bryn Forbes got the Spurs going after they went down 0-2 to start, hitting a three a minute into the game. I don’t think the Raptors hit another shot after that, and the Spurs romped on national TV to a decisive win. I admit, I bought into the storyline, and I was watching this game…
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