I don’t play sports video games much anymore, but I am well aware of the concept of “cheesing”. It’s when you do the same move/play/ability over and over because of how over-powered it is, instead of actually playing the game like a normal human being (implying it isn’t normal to want to find flaws in…
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Evan Fournier 27 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2018)
Whatever thing Evan Fournier did with his hair to make it look like he still had all of it isn’t working anymore. If my theory of “spray-spainted sawdust stuck on with a glue stick” is correct, that stuff will definitely erode over time. If he did something fancier, like with an actual doctor, he needs…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 28 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2018)
No Russell Westbrook, no problem. Dennis Schröder is a reasonable approximation, the only difference is that he’s not a stat-padder. Well, one of two differences. The other difference is that he’s not really interested in passing the ball (as if Westbrook would be if he didn’t have to do it to get triple-doubles). Schröder’s assist…
Read MoreLuka Doncic 24 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2018)
I’m feeling a Luke Doncic floater-ilation coming at the end of the season. No guarantees, because that would be harder than my usual compilation (three-pointers and dunks are easier to quantify than what exactly a floater is), but it would be probably the sickest thing ever. Sicker than the Dirk fadeaway-ilations I made. Those got…
Read MoreDavis Bertans 19 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2018)
We’re heading into the home stretch, Davis Bertans-iacs. Only one more season of Gregg Popovich misusing and abusing Bertans, not giving him the minutes he deserves, not giving him the green light he deserves, and making him dress up in a poodle costume and putting him in a hastily constructed wooden shack called “Popovich’s Doghouse”…
Read MoreAlec Burks 18 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2018)
It must be that time of the year were Alec Burks plays good for a couple games leading everyone (well, all the people paying attention to Burks, so about a dozen) to think that he’s going to be good consistently now, and then he goes back to normal after five games or so. It really…
Read MoreJosh Hart 21 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2018)
I still suck at Fortnite. My brain isn’t meant for killing. It’s meant for love, and highlights, in that order. But my desire to be better at things than other people (which is all-encompassing) leads me to keep playing. Usually I just run around and chop down trees until someone sees me, then I start…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 24 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2018)
Ever since our ill-fated, but ultimately successful, trip to the zoo, my 12-foot-tall purple 3D-printed naked plastic statue of Buddy Hield has been really obsessed with goats. Most of his days are spent streaming YouTube videos of goats from my laptop onto the big-screen TV in my living room. I don’t even know how to…
Read MoreWesley Matthews 22 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2018)
It’s interesting that Wes Matthews is having, by far, the highest-scoring season of his Mavericks tenure while also shooting at the best efficiency of that same tenure. It’s inarguable that this is the best Matthews has played, from a raw stats perspective, since his Blazers days. Usually when I say “inarguable”, I’m being facetious or…
Read MoreLuka Doncic 23 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2018)
The scoring is already here for Luka Doncic. Not what all the haters were expecting, him averaging 20 (if you haven’t noticed I’m obsessed with the concept of people averaging 20), but there it is. But where’s the assisting? Where’s the passing wizardry? We get a few good dimes a game, but he’s got almost…
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