Jarrett Jack 18 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/12/2018)

It’s been conclusively determined that nobody likes, or cares about, Jarrett Jack. This is evidenced by the fact that he had a real-life triple-double, but only 1,200 people watched the video depicting the occurrence. There’s eight million people living in New York City but only 0.014% of them (at an absolute maximum) like Jarrett Jack…

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Dragan Bender 14 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (1/12/2018)

So far this season, Dragan Bender has attempted 232 shots. 161 of those, or 69%, have been three-pointers. I feel like he’s supposed to have an all-around scoring game, but he’s playing like he’s strictly a three-point specialist right now. And I don’t know if I should blame the coaching, the teammates, Bender himself, or…

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Ian Mahinmi 17 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2018)

Ian Mahinmi is now in his 9th season in the NBA. That blows my mind. Part of the problem is I keep getting him combined with Kevin Seraphin, but the other part of the problem is that it seems like just yesterday that he was hitting that third-quarter buzzer-beating jumper for the Mavericks against the…

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Jonathon Simmons 23 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2018)

Jonathon Simmons has been in a pretty gnarly slump recently, which may have come to an end tonight, but I don’t think anyone has noticed because the Magic weren’t winning before the slump and they definitely aren’t winning during it. It’s just kind of expected on bad teams that their individual players will go through…

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Spencer Dinwiddie 20 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (1/12/2018)

Spencer Dinwiddie perfectly executed the rare strategy of “miss your free throw so you can grab the rebound and get even more points out of it” at the end of tonight’s game against the Hawks. It was a risk, since his team was only up by a single point when he attempted it, but it…

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Jusuf Nurkic 19 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/12/2018)

Jusuf Nurkic vs. DeMarcus Cousins. Most intense center matchup in recorded (as opposed to unrecorded, frickin’ Wilt 100 points full highlights why do they not exist) NBA history? An especially enterprising entrepreneur would set up some sort of celebrity MMA match between the two and charge a ton of money for it on Pay-Per-View. They…

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Elfrid Payton 27 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/12/2018)

Once again, an Elfrid Payton video ends up being way too long. Over three minutes just for a whole bunch of layups where he can’t see the rim because his hair is in the way? I’m normally fairly optimistic about the ability of my viewerbase to watch highlights, but this one is asking too much…

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Dennis Schröder Career High 34 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights

Dënniß ßchrööder has seen an increase in his scoring averages every season since he’s been in the league, but when taken per-minute, he’s basically the same player he was in his sophomore season. A little more scoring, same efficiency. If this was just a year-to-year thing, I wouldn’t make any conclusions, but since four years…

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Bismack Biyombo Career High 21 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2018)

Bismack Biyombo’s previous career high of 17 came in game 7 of the Raptors’ series against the Heat, a clutch performance that was likely the one that earned him his ridiculous contract. That performance wasn’t anything special offensively, and as you can probably imagine, neither is this one. If you were imagining something akin to…

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Jahlil Okafor 17 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2018)

Somehow, at some point, the narrative on Jahlil Okafor switched from “he’s one of the worst players in the league” to “he’s being unfairly marginalized on the 76ers, he would be a beast on a different team”. And I’m not cherry-picking these opinions. By the middle of his second season, it was agreed by nearly…

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