“You must learn to control your anger,” said the withered old monk, who sat across from a man much taller and stronger than him. “I understand, master,” replied Bobby Portis. “But it is hard. My emotions are too intense, and they don’t allow themselves to be bottled up within.” He remembered all the times in…
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Nikola Jokic Career High 41 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2017)
Nikola Jokic grimaced as his hold on the sheer rock face loosened. He had been climbing for what seemed like hours now and the day, which had started out so sunny and serene, had taken a turn. He had thought he felt the first few tentative drops of rain start to fall a few minutes…
Read MoreDoug McDermott 20 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2017)
The Knicks are winning games. I don’t know how they’re doing it, presumably some sort of witchcraft is involved, but it’s happening right now and we can’t ignore it. Eventually they’ll have to learn how to win games where they’re not down by a bajillion points in the fourth quarter, maybe by playing better in…
Read MoreMike James 16 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2017)
With Mike “Never Scored 20 PPG for the Raptors” James’ increased prominence on his team, and, by extension, the NBA as a whole, it is now appropriate to include him in the “grossest NBA beard” discussion. He seems like the type of guy who would be attractive with a mild amount of stubble, but the…
Read MoreJames Johnson 21 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (11/6/2017)
That was not the most fun NBA game I ever watched. Good thing I didn’t pay for a ticket to attend, or would’ve been stuck there for the whole thing, glancing at my phone every three minutes wondering when I could get the heck out and rush home to make highlight vids. The neato thing…
Read MoreD’Angelo Russell 23 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/6/2017)
There are lots of really lame tattoos adorning NBA players. Like, tons. Maybe even most of them? I don’t think I’d go that far, but there is a serious lack of judgment going on with some of these dudes. Like, seriously Kirilenko, did you need to get a whole frickin’ demon plastered all over your…
Read MoreJoe Harris 18 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2017)
When is Joe Harris going to score 20 points in the NBA? I’ve got the biggest case of blue balls ever right now, except instead of sexual frustration it’s Joe Harris never scoring 20 points frustration. I thought for sure he was gonna do it tonight, he had SO MUCH TIME to get the few…
Read MoreDewayne Dedmon Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2017)
The good thing about making Dewayne Dedmon highlights is that he doesn’t have any real diehard fans, so I can say whatever I want about him. With the more popular players, it’s a real balancing act between what I really think (usually negative things) and what fans really think (usually positive things). I can’t call…
Read MoreJayson Tatum 21 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2017)
The team Jayson Tatum is on is too good. How is he supposed to live up to his full scoring potential if there are a bunch of other competent dudes on what should be his roster? Either the Celtics need to get very crappy, very quickly, or they need to trade Tatum to a team…
Read MoreDillon Brooks 13 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)
Dillon Brooks has screwed me up in two different ways. FIRST WAY HE SCREWED ME UP: I keep pronouncing Dillon as “Dill On” in my head even though it’s pronounced like Dylan (“Dill An”). SECOND WAY HE SCREWED ME UP: He scored nineteen in his NBA debut, throwing out of whack my proprietary algorithms for…
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