Nikola Jokic 13 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (2/6/2017)

Before anyone says anything: yes, that is an unaltered image of Nikola Jokic in the thumbnail. Unrotated. That’s the angle he took to show his displeasure with the referees. Nothing says “I think you made the wrong call” like tilting your whole body 45 degrees to the left. Also before anyone says anything: yes, 13…

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Brandon Ingram 14 Points Full Highlights (2/6/2017)

“Hack-a-Ingram” is officially a thing. Note: it’s not “Hack-an-Ingram” because that just sounds weird. “Hack-a-Ingram” is the official name for the thing that officially happened to Brandon Ingram tonight. This isn’t a good sign, when your supposed sweet-shooting prospect is getting purposefully fouled because he has trouble making free throws. He made them both in…

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Willie Cauley-Stein 14 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2017)

Remember when Ty Lawson seemed like he had a direct brain connection with JaVale McGee (back when they were in Denver) and it resulted in endless unstoppable alley-oops? Lawson might be considerably more alcoholic at this point in his career, but that doesn’t mean he can’t develop a similar brain connection with another player if…

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Ersan Ilyasova 21 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2017)

The Sixers might have lost to the Heat by twenty and Hassan Whiteside might have put up an easy-peasy 30/20 line, but at least there’s no way to blame Ersan Ilyasova for those things. He was never charged with keeping Whiteside in check; that was “defensive specialist” Nerlens Noel’s job. I mean, with Embiid out…

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Lavoy Allen 18 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2017)

As outlandish as it may seem, eighteen points is NOT Lavoy “My Boy” Allen’s career high. He scored twenty when he was on the Sixers back in 2013 and, in case you’re wondering, yes, I did make a highlight video for that game. Eighteen is merely the second-highest point total that Allen has scored in…

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Willy Hernangomez 16 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2017)

The transferral of minutes is complete. Joakim Noah, the starter in name only, got six minutes in this game and then “injured” his “hamstring” (more like Hornacek injured his feelings LMAO). Hernangomez then got thirty-five minutes off the bench, putting up 16-5-5 (I didn’t show the assists because I didn’t want to) and helping the…

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Jonathon Simmons 18 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2017)

Frankly, I would reserve the nickname “The Juice” for a player who is obviously using steroids. It’s like calling a player “The ‘Roid” or “Gym Candy”. I don’t know what it refers to in Simmons’ case since it doesn’t seem to me like he’s using steroids, but whatever it’s a reference to (perhaps his love…

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Manu Ginobili 18 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2017)

Since I have already determined through my intrepid journalistic investigations that Manu Ginobili is regularly supplied fresh bodies by terrifying entities from an otherworldly realm that he accesses through a cursed stained-glass window in his home, we know that there’s no reason for him to retire any time soon. Why retire when your body is…

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Brandon Jennings 23 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (2/4/2017)

https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/new/ If things are really about to get blown up in New York (wow, I reread that phrase and I swear I didn’t mean it that way), I’m looking forward to tons of minutes and tons of swag from Brandon Jennings. With Carmelo and Rose and Baker gone, he would get to be the guy…

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Mirza Teletovic 19 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2017)

I was pretty pumped when the Bucks signed Mirza Teletovic this offseason. I saw what he had done in Phoenix the year prior, and he seemed like the perfect stretchy-foury type to put next to Giannis. I even advocated trading for him during the season, that’s how much I wanted this dude in Milwaukee. Now…

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