Jusuf Nurkic – Page 2

Jusuf Nurkic 27 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/21/2019)

We know from past experience that Jusuf Nurkic doesn’t really like it when another center starts taking the minutes that he feels he’s earned. So, if there’s any risk at all to the Blazers’ signing of Enes Kanter off the scrap heap, it’s that. If the situation is sufficiently mismanaged both by coaching and by…

Jusuf Nurkic 22 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (2/7/2019)

When you talk about the Portland Trailblazers, everybody immediately thinks of their two-man guard core of Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum. It makes sense to consider them the core members of the team given that they score the most points. But what if the two-man core is actually Damian Lillard and Jusuf Nurkic, and McCollum…

Jusuf Nurkic 22 Points Full Highlights (1/22/2019)

Fan voting for the NBA All-Star game has ended. You have no more chances to try and get your second-favorite Bosnian sportsperson (after Edin Dzeko) into the NBA’s premiere showcase of talent. If you want, I can show you the secret backdoor I made into the NBA’s voting systems (I’m still casting thousands of votes…

Jusuf Nurkic 22 Points/7 Assists/6 Blocks Full Highlights (1/21/2019)

If Jusuf “Nurk Dowitzki” Nurkic had managed to do anything in the fourth quarter other than commit four fouls and get an assist, he might have had a quadruple-double. By my count (which is hastily done and could be off by as much as two hundred in either direction), he only needed three rebounds, four…

Jusuf Nurkic Triple Double 10 Pts/10 Rebs/10 Asts Full Highlights (1/16/2019)

Since I don’t feel like actually writing something insightful or funny about Jusuf Nurkic right now (I used up all my narrative energy on a story where Spencer Dinwiddie yells “It’s Dinner Time” while forcefeeding James Harden snack foods), I’m going to hit the proverbial “easy button” on this description and just give you a…

Jusuf Nurkic 25 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)

It seems like at least once a game, Jusuf Nurkic ends up on the floor clutching one body part or another as a pool of blood spreads from his prone body. Who says basketball isn’t a contact sport? He should start wearing a helmet so he can take those elbows to the face without missing…

Jusuf Nurkic 22 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2019)

One game after acquiring the totally pedestrian and barely notable feat of a 5-by-5, Jusuf Nurkic fell embarrassingly short of the goal last night, needing four more assists, two more steals, and four more blocks. He also didn’t even get a quadruple-double. Or a triple-double. Or a double-double. A double-double is, like, almost an automatic…

Jusuf Nurkic 5 by 5 (24 Pts, 23 Rebs, 7 Asts, 5 Stls, 5 Blks) Full Highlights (1/1/2019)

“Yo, is something up with Jusuf?” asked Evan Turner to Meyers Leonard in the locker room before the game. He stood in front of Jusuf and waved his arms, but there was no reaction from the seven-foot Bosnian, who was staring straight ahead with a vacant look in his eyes. “He’s getting in the zone,”…

Jusuf Nurkic 21 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/29/2018)

It happened again. The Blazers met the Warriors in a rematch of their game three days ago and guess what? The Warriors still didn’t have an answer for Jusuf Nurkic. Kevon Looney and Draymond Green still couldn’t handle all 300 pounds of his Grade-B Bosnian Man-meat (B for Bosnian). This time around, Nurkic scored from…

Jusuf Nurkic 27 Points Full Highlights (12/27/2018)

This is what happens when you try to get by without a center, Warriors. You see what happens? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. They tried guarding Jusuf “Maglić” Nurkic with Kevon Looney (who actually is a center but it didn’t work), and then they tried Draymond Green because everyone keeps saying that he can guard every…