A minute or so passed after that initial sip of the bright blue Mountain Dew of unknown provenance, but the body-wide tingling sensation didn’t dissipate. Klay took another drink of it, figuring that, if he was going to die of a rare neurological disorder, he might as well get to enjoy top secret soda flavors…
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Klay Thompson All 241 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Three-ilation Part I)
After his occult ritual had been interrupted by his coach Steve Kerr, Klay Thompson walked from his front door back to his living room, but now his focus was lost, and he didn’t remember where he had left off. His goal had been to use the “portal potion”, a bottle of drink procured from a…
Read MoreKlay Thompson All 229 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation Part II)
Klay returned to his condo and happily set down the heavy bag of library books. The mystical “portal potion”, he put in his refrigerator. The man who had sold it to him hadn’t told him whether refrigeration was required, but Klay figured it couldn’t hurt. While he had the fridge open, he grabbed some of…
Read MoreKlay Thompson All 229 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation Part I)
When Klay Thompson answered his ringing doorbell and saw Steve Kerr standing there, he knew something serious had just gone down. Coach never came to visit in person. If it was something important, Steve would call; for anything else, a text message sufficed. “Steph made another Three-Point Shooting Amulet,” Steve started, correctly assuming that Klay…
Read MoreKlay Thompson All 268 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2016-17 Season Three-ilation Part II)
After returning to his condo and spending some quality time with his bong, Klay had written down a list of things he would need to do to transform the lump of weapons-grade plutonium in his possession into a powerful explosive device capable of blowing up Stephen Curry’s house and allowing Klay to sneak into the…
Read MoreKlay Thompson All 268 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2016-17 Season Three-ilation Part I)
Klay Thompson pulled his trenchcoat closer around his body, feeling conspicuous in his hiding spot underneath the Golden Gate bridge. Suddenly realizing that his greater-than-average height might give away his status as a basketball player, he hunched over to make himself appear shorter. Finally, after what seemed like hours of waiting, but was probably closer…
Read MoreKlay Thompson All 276 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Three-ilation Part II)
With the female entertainment lined up for the Warriors’ pitch to Kevin Durant, Klay had moved his attentions towards what he and his teammates would do/say during the meeting to make the biggest possible impact. The Celtics had convinced Tom Brady to hang out with Durant and pretend to be bros with him. Klay had…
Read MoreKlay Thompson All 276 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Three-ilation Part I)
“Okay, somebody needs to be in charge of luring Kevin Durant here to the Warriors,” Stephen Curry said, addressing a small selection of his most trusted teammates. “I can’t do it because I’m running my expensive basketball camp.” “Too bad Draymond had to go and get arrested,” said Andre Iguodala. “I bet he would have…
Read MoreKlay Thompson All 239 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part II)
“Took you long enough,” Steve said coolly. “But you are still too late. This cursed phylactery will never again claim the soul of another player.” “It’s not too late!” Stephen shouted from the sideline. “I need it! We need it! The team needs it! Isn’t that what a coach wants? To win?” Steve shook his…
Read MoreKlay Thompson All 239 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part I)
Klay Thompson was awakened by a hushed discussion outside his bedroom door. “Not so fast, Steph.” That voice sounded like Steve Kerr’s. There was an inaudible response. “Steph, please listen to me. You have to let me take it, you have to let me destroy it. Its power is too great.” “I’m taking the amulet…
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