It is well-known among NBA fans that if you have a good game against a subpar defender or subpar defensive team, the good game doesn’t count. Taking that into account, Austin “Save Me from the D-League Daddy” Rivers’ efficient 8-of-11 shooting night is made null by the fact that Slow Joe Ingles was guarding him…
Read MoreTag: Los Angeles Clippers
Marreese Speights 15 Points Clippers Debut Full Highlights (10/27/2016)
The Clippers have been trying for years now to get some kind of stretch-five that doesn’t absolutely suck. Marreese “Speighetti” Speights is just the latest attempt in what is has been a long string of abject failures. Speighetti does have a championship pedigree, which theoretically has some value I guess, but it is too early…
Read MoreChris Paul All 208 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2015-16 Jumperilation Part II)
We now continue our series exploring why Chris Paul has never made a conference finals. (2011-12 Los Angeles Clippers, 40-26, lost conference semis 0-4 against San Antonio): Lob City is born. This is notable because everybody got tired of Ralph Lawler yelling “oh me oh my” and “the lob THE JAM” very quickly. At this…
Read MoreChris Paul All 208 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2015-16 Jumperilation Part I)
It’s an oft-repeated sentiment in online circles: Chris Paul is a loser. He can win in the regular season, but his teams never make deep playoff runs. If he really has been the best PG in the NBA for stretches of his eleven-year career, shouldn’t he have been able to drag one of his teams…
Read MoreJ.J. Redick All 200 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Three-ilation Part II)
J.J. walked to a storage closet and pulled out an inflatable kiddy-pool, already inflated and filled with water. He dragged it to the center of the practice court. “We goin’ swimming?” DeAndre asked sarcastically. J.J. turned to his teammate and issued a ten-second-long blast on his whistle. “Fifty pushups for your impudence, Private Jordan!” he…
Read MoreJ.J. Redick All 200 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Three-ilation Part I)
J.J. Redick sat patiently in front of Doc Rivers’ desk, waiting for his coach to say something. Doc seemed distressed about something. Finally, he spoke. “DeAndre’s free throws aren’t improving.” J.J. wondered why Doc was telling him this obvious fact. Moreover, if Doc was concerned with DeAndre Jordan’s free throws, why wouldn’t Doc meet with…
Read MoreDeAndre Jordan All 227 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
DeAndre Jordan relaxed on his sofa, wondering idly if his other Clippers teammates had started their off-season training regimens yet. Mindlessly spooning Golden Grahams into his mouth, DeAndre decided they probably hadn’t. Except for Chris Paul. His doorbell rang. Not expecting any visitors, he looked down to make sure he had put on pants this…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 21 Points/8 Assists/1 Injury Full Highlights (4/29/2016)
“Daddy! I’m bleeding!” Austin Rivers wailed, clutching his face. “DADDY!!!!” But Doc Rivers sat impassively on the bench, not indicating in any way that he had heard his son’s cries. As trainers hustled over to where Austin lay, he remained in his seat. “Daddy?” Austin said hopefully as he saw a pair of feet walking…
Read MoreC.J. Wilcox Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
Good news for Clippers fans: For exactly one game, C.J. Wilcox looked like an NBA player! It probably (definitely) won’t make a difference in the playoffs where rotation are eight deep and the Wilcoxes of the world are relegated to post-bucket applause duty, but it could mean something next year. Viable backup to J.J. Redick…
Read MorePaul Pierce 18 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2016)
What we’re watching right now is the final decline of Paul Pierce. Pierce’s career has had ups and downs, the most recent up being last year’s playoffs, but I’m thinking that there will be no more ups after this. Only downs. One long down all the way to the bottom. Down down down. All the…
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