Portland Trailblazers

Anfernee Simons 27 Points/9 Threes Full Highlights (4/27/2021)

https://youtu.be/4dRs55qAJ6c Sometimes, a moment of benevolence will strike me. While I normally withhold the juiciest NBA factoids from wider distribution to the unwashed commoners, there are times when I feel compelled to share my factoids with the plebeians which endlessly rabble at my feet. Now is one of those times. Using the advanced analytical service…

Enes Kanter 24 Points/30 Rebounds Full Highlights (4/10/2021)

https://youtu.be/QmcSIhFCsg4 I’m somewhat surprised that the Trailblazers record (before this) for rebounds was only 27. Yeah, the franchise didn’t have the advantage of being around back when dudes (actually just Wilt and Russell) were just grabbing 40 or 50 rebounds like it was no big deal, but only 27? Rebounds aren’t even that hard to…

Nassir Little Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (2/1/2021)

https://youtu.be/gmVfSM-GKsY Nassir Little was sitting on a stone bench, strangely not feeling any sense of panic even though the situation definitely called for it. Many minutes prior, he had awoken in this strange place that seemed to go on forever. It was like a grand hall with no beginning and no end. The golden sunlight…

Anfernee Simons 26 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2021)

https://youtu.be/H8moZ48MAsA The Blazers’ injury situation is completely out of control. Unlike other teams with reduced rosters, who are simply struggling with COVID protocol, the Blazers are legitimately banged up, and, even worse, the injuries are centered on their starters. Walking into their locker room is like walking into a geriatric ward that was hit with…

Gary Trent Jr. 28 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/28/2020)

https://youtu.be/iifdMwkyIHU It must be a unique kind of pain for LeBron James, who has always needed “shooters” put around him, to look over at the opposing bench and see a shooter who is way better than any shooter on his own team. To get beat by a Blazers squad let by off-the-bench sharpshooter Gary Trent…

Jusuf Nurkic 20 Points Full Highlights (8/24/2020)

Jusuf Nurkic scored 10 of the first 12 points for the Blazers. All good, right? WRONG! It would have been fine, I guess, for Nurkic to take over the bulk of the scoring duties for his team early in the game, except that the Lakers dropped 30 points while he was doing so, leaving Portland…

Jusuf Nurkic 22 Points/21 Rebounds/6 Assists Full Highlights (8/15/2020)

With the Blazers’ season on the line (well, partially on the line, since they needed two lose two straight in order to miss the playoffs), Jusuf Nurkic unleashed his inner Bosnian Beast with a supremely gritty, supremely BOSNIAN display of scoring, rebound, passing, and overall domination. And he did it right after finding out that…

Jusuf Nurkic 22 Points Full Highlights (8/13/2020)

The Trailblazers did it. They squeaked by the Nets, they made the playoffs. Everyone for the past few years has been mocking the teams that chase the 8th seed for no reason, but now, the teams that are doing so are receiving nothing but praise. Not from me! I laugh at Portland’s feeble Cinderella-story, soon…

Gary Trent Jr. 22 Points Full Highlights (8/8/2020)

I’m not an expert on the psychological aspects of basketball since the things that are going through NBA player’s heads are so far removed from the things that are going through my head when I’m playing a game of basketball. I’m mostly thinking about how to get open for a midrange jumper (even though everybody…

Jusuf Nurkic 22 Points/7 Dunks Full Highlights (8/6/2020)

Is there a way to use the internet to tell me if seven is a career high in dunks for Jusuf Nurkic? I thought I was good at the internet but it turns out I’m not. And I haven’t yet shelled out for the new basketball-reference “Stathead” service (I don’t blame them for charging for…