Just call me Nostrabuckus. Two days ago, I penned the following words on a different Seth Curry highlight video: “Is it too late to get people into the three-point contest? […] If there is still a chance to do so, I humbly submit Seth Curry for consideration. […] I don’t know if Steph is going…
Read MoreTag: Portland Trailblazers
Seth Curry 17 Points Full Highlights (1/24/2019)
Is it too late to get people into the three-point contest? Did they already announce the roster for that when I wasn’t paying attention? If there is still a chance to do so, I humbly submit Seth Curry for consideration. He’s shooting 48% on three-pointers this season, and while his volume of shots looks low,…
Read MoreJake Layman 20 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/24/2019)
I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating now that the situation has grown extremely dire: while it’s great that Jake “Timberjake” Layman is emerging as a good basketball player after two years of complete, total, bottom-of-the-barrel scrubdom, it’s not so great that his minutes directly come at the expense of Nik Stauskas’ minutes. Stauskas…
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic 22 Points Full Highlights (1/22/2019)
Fan voting for the NBA All-Star game has ended. You have no more chances to try and get your second-favorite Bosnian sportsperson (after Edin Dzeko) into the NBA’s premiere showcase of talent. If you want, I can show you the secret backdoor I made into the NBA’s voting systems (I’m still casting thousands of votes…
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic 22 Points/7 Assists/6 Blocks Full Highlights (1/21/2019)
If Jusuf “Nurk Dowitzki” Nurkic had managed to do anything in the fourth quarter other than commit four fouls and get an assist, he might have had a quadruple-double. By my count (which is hastily done and could be off by as much as two hundred in either direction), he only needed three rebounds, four…
Read MoreJake Layman 20 Points/1 Quarter Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
Lurking in the nighttime shadows in the upscale neighborhood, Jake Layman tried to pick the lock as quietly as he was able. Even if the house he was targeting didn’t have the most aware of residents, the inhabitants of nearby houses were likely to be hyper-vigilant about possible crimes in the area. So Jake took…
Read MoreJake Layman 18 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/16/2019)
Jake “Lake Jayman” Layman has been getting more minutes recently. This is good to see after he was intermittently getting DNP’s through the month of December. It’s also good to see that he sometimes has good games even though he’s only getting around twenty minutes as the starter. Ever since his rookie debut where he…
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic Triple Double 10 Pts/10 Rebs/10 Asts Full Highlights (1/16/2019)
Since I don’t feel like actually writing something insightful or funny about Jusuf Nurkic right now (I used up all my narrative energy on a story where Spencer Dinwiddie yells “It’s Dinner Time” while forcefeeding James Harden snack foods), I’m going to hit the proverbial “easy button” on this description and just give you a…
Read MoreZach Collins 16 Points Full Highlights (1/9/2019)
I am now fondly remembering with a smirk on my face all the overreactions to Zach Collins’ 6-block opening night. Since it happened on national TV, and everyone was watching because when the season’s just starting you watch any NBA action you possibly can, there were a lot of people who had never seen him…
Read MoreSeth Curry 17 Points Full Highlights (1/9/2019)
I’m going to start calling Seth Curry “Coconut Curry” because his head kind of looks like a coconut would if you took out the furry brown shell and were just left with the white globe of actual coconut flesh. And because his last name is Curry. Get it? Coconut…Curry? This honestly might be my finest…
Read More