I know that I said in a previous Jarell Martin video that I don’t need any other players to have good games as long as I get to keep making Jarell Martin highlight videos. Well, I would like to issue a retraction for that statement. I have now made a Jarell Martin highlight video three times in a row for him, and as much fun as it is to watch him drain jumpers all over defenders who don’t respect his shot, I would rather not be cursed to make Jarell Martin videos every day until I die.
The good news is that, if Jarell scores between 16 and 20 points for the next ten games straight, that will raise the bar for him in terms of qualifying for a video. You score sixteen on a regular basis? Then you have to score 22 at the very least, at the absolute minimum, for me to even consider beginning to think about maybe making a highlight video for you. If Martin wants to take the easy road, I’ll tell him what that road entails: it’s scoring five points next game, then seven the game after that, then he can score sixteen the game after that one and I’ll happily make a video for him.
Does anybody know how to use Instagram to communicate with NBA players? I want to give this information directly to Jarell. Do I have to pretend I’m a hot chick? Should I catfish him?