Pretty much the whole story around the Cavaliers’ first-round defeat of the Pacers was that LeBron James was doing literally everything while his teammates picked their noses and looked dumbly as the ball whizzed by their motionless hands. These guys read the media, they know what’s being said about them, and I bet when Zach Lowe said “I’ve never seen a more repulsive collection of turds in my life since the last time I ate White Castle” (just kidding I’m the only one who said that, just now actually), you know they got all mad and agitated and eager to prove people wrong.
And tonight, a few of them did. J.R. Smith included, obviously, because you’re about to watch a highlight vid of him and I don’t just hand those out like candy. He wasn’t, you know, super amazing or anything, a couple years ago 20 points would be nothing notable for him, and he didn’t do much in the second half, but this is more than he’s scored in months. The Cavs needed every single one of those points to eke out this win.
I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that his brother, Chris Smith, was basically the worst player to ever actually appear in an NBA game. I’m not even exaggerating here. He was right up there among the pantheon of awful ballers, only getting a contract because the Knicks wanted so badly to retain his much better and much weedier brother. I don’t want people to forget that this happened, because I’m pretty sure Kristaps Porzingis has a sibling, and I want people to be prepared for what is going to happen.